Compassion

This is a tough one. Especially for those of us who lead comfortable lives (I put myself in that category- my basic needs are met and I have a little left over to order dinner in on Friday nights). Personal comfort is nearly antithetical to compassion. Comfort and convenience lull us into a place we don’t want to leave and can’t imagine being without.

Compassion in its truest form is the opposite of being comfortable.

This is because compassion literally means to suffer with. Compassion isn’t about pity or looking-down on, or fixing a problem on someone else's behalf (although helping in ways that are requested can be part of it). Compassion is about trying to understand the suffering that someone (or a group of someones) is, and has been, experiencing, and then (only then) can we begin to offer help in extravagantly practical ways.

We can look to the Bible to see the impact of compassion. Jesus showed compassion to beggars, foreigners, societal outcasts, women, culturally marginalized, those who were physically or mentally impaired and any number of other. He was quick to notice them, to listen to them, and then to help. For Jesus, compassion was a call to action. And his action brought restoration and healing.

Practices:

1) Seek to help the wounded rather than react to the wound

Hurt people, hurt people. (the first ‘hurt’ is an adjective, the second is a verb)

Anger, frustration, pain. These are all normal, rational feelings in the face of injustice. When someone is feeling these (or any number of other emotions) it is normal to act in ways that don’t seem appropriate. But what these feelings and reactions point to is a wound. Something difficult, challenging and (often) deep rooted.

So listen.

Listen to the pain, listen to the fear, listen to the anger, listen to the injustice.

Recognize that for the person in this experience their wounds may be intimately tied to their identity. Do your best to understand, and then to be with them. This is a proactive, rather than a reactive stance to take.

2) Use the news as a call to prayer and compassion. (whether you get that from a TV, the radio, newspaper, or online somewhere)

If you hear something that gives you pause, that pulls on your heart and soul,

acknowledge that there may be something you need to sit with. But don’t stop with the feeling. If you hear something that seems unfair, or unjust, take time to read more about it. Learn more about it. Educate yourself.

You can’t suffer with if you don’t know what the suffering is.

3) Volunteer with a community-based group that is working on the issue.

You can’t fix anything on your own. Read that sentence again.

Change can happen one person at a time, but real, long term, systemic change requires people to work together. So figure out what part of our broken world you want to help change, and then try to find like-minded people to partner up with. There are grassroots movements and major organizations that you can partner with to amplify and support for nearly every issue.

Know that when you show up to help, you are going to be new and that you won’t know what to do. Do what is asked of you. Be uncomfortable. Learn. That’s the cornerstone of this process of cultivating compassion.

Final Thoughts:

Again, I have to reiterate that compassion demands that you get uncomfortable, that you be inconvenienced, that you take a hard look at yourself and the comfy place you find yourself in that has allowed you to turn a blind eye to this thing that now pulls on your heart strings. And it demands action because compassion in practice shows that love always has hands and feet.

I hope that you are filled with compassion, and that in some way you learn what it mean to suffer with. I hope that you are galvanized to act because of that suffering, and I hope that your compassion allows you to find empathy for those who are themselves suffering.

Keep practicing,

P.S. This post is meant to be a guide for the spiritual practice of compassion. However, I cannot be blind to the current cultural climate and uprising of social justice and reform. I’m still trying to educate myself by listening to, and reading from, as many voices as I can. What I can say is that I believe that the Church (by which I mean the people who believe in and profess Jesus Christ as Lord) has an obligation to be on the frontlines of social justice issues.

I found this conversation between Dr. Anita Phillips and Christine Caine to be an interesting one. One of the quotes that stood out for me was Dr. Phillips asking: “We celebrate with you [speaking to white people], will you suffer with us?”

I also think that reaching out to active groups in your locale is a great way to get started, for example, searching “Black Lives Matter Toronto” will direct you here: https://blacklivesmatter.ca/

If you have any thoughts on compassion, or articles and stories you think I should read, I would love to hear them. Email me at meghanlamatthews@gmail.com or connect on Instagram (@itsmeghanmatthews)