Discernment

As humans we make decisions all the time. It’s been estimated that adults make approximately 35,000 decisions a day. Most of these don’t have serious consequences, we make them without really having to think about them.

Of course, not every decision is as easy as whether or not to put cream in your coffee (I was a no today, but only because I ran out yesterday and going to the store pre-coffee seemed like a fool's errand). So what do we do when confronted with a big decision? How can we make a choice when the outcome is uncertain?

This is where the practice of DISCERNMENT comes into play.

Discernment isn’t just about decision-making. It’s about recognizing and delighting in the voice and will of God. When we need to discern we take time to listen to God, to get our head and our heart in alignment- without hurrying towards the end result.

Please note, there is no one right way to make a decision, in fact if you have a process for decision making, then you do not (in any way) need to abandon that. What you should do is set that process inside of your desire to follow God’s call.

Process:

**There are lots of ways to discern as a group, but for this post, I’m just talking about individual discernment.

Prestep: all of these require patience, and prayer. This is NOT a quick practice. It takes the time it takes, so you may not want to do all the steps at once. When our brains get fatigued, anxiety is right there to take over. When this happens we may rush a decision in order to avoid that mental state. So, when you need to deeply discern God’s will, make sure to set aside time and go slowly. Pray at each stage.

Always begin by coming into the presence of the Holy One, focus on his goodness and his abundant love for you. Once you are settled, begin.

1. Decide: what is it that I want to discern, what’s the question/issue that I need God’s help with?

2. What is at stake: what are the consequences of making this decision? Of not making this decision?

3. Be free and open to God’s will: be ready to go in the direction he moves you (regardless of what else may be tying you down) , be totally attached to God’s agenda, be more concerned with His voice, will, and prompting than you are with attachments to possessions, relationships, opportunities etc.

This step in the Ignation tradition is often called Indifference. I don’t find it to be

a particularly helpful word- it sounds too much like “I don’t care.” What it is really saying

is “I care more about God’s will than my own, and I will do whatever it takes to follow

what I hear.” This is actually a really important concept for Christians. Often, we go into

a discernment process with a sense of what we want, we have a desired outcome-

letting go of that is necessary if we want to genuinely follow God’s direction for our

lives.

Pray, like Jesus did in Gethemane Not my will but yours be done.

4. Practical Considerations: What are the facts surrounding the question? What options

exist for answering the question? What are the pros and cons for each option? Which

options lead you deeper into faithfulness? Which options reflect God’s deep love?

5. Feel your decision: at this point

there will likely be a short list of

options for you to choose from. Sit

with each decision and feel what it

would be like if you chose that

option.

How would you tell people, how

might they react? What are the

ramifications to other areas of your life? Imagine God’s reaction to this decision, how

does he seem to you? What about the option leads you to life-giving feelings? What

about this option is life-hindering?

Basically, you’re trying on each option. Notice, in particular, your gut feelings- think

about the difficulties of the choice as well as the potential positives. If it’s God’s will, the

challenges should not dissuade you from an option but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t

be prepared for them. Again, this could take a few sessions of time since you are trying

to really be in your emotions.

6. Make a choice: you have prayed about this, considered the facts, your feelings and

the potential outcomes. At each step you have prayed and connected with God.

Now it’s time to make your choice. Which is the way you feel God leading you? Which

option is the one that seems to be most in line with what God desires?

7. Take Action: discernment nearly always leads to action. Once you have made your

choice, it’s time to do something about it; set up a realistic time frame and then… take

the leap. Trust that you’ve done your due diligence and that you are stepping in the

right direction.

Keep praying.

,

This process requires a lot of honesty and commitment. But once you have gone through it intentionally you should feel very settled in your decision- even if the action unsettles different parts of your life. This is an outline of a process, but you can (and maybe even should) tweak it to make sense for you.

I hope that whatever it is you need to discern, that you take the time to bring your question to God and that you hear his voice as you seek his will.

Keep practicing,

P.s. usually when we need discernment, we know what the question is. But if you want to try this practice out, I encourage you to consider resting (or, perhaps wrestling?) with one of the following questions:

• What is the next thing God wants me to do?

• How can I give more of myself to Jesus?

• What is God’s calling on my life?

Remember this- God’s wisdom is often very different from human wisdom, so attentive listening to the Holy Spirit that resides within you is really at the core of this practice.

Let me know how it goes by email (meghanlamatthews@gmail.com) or on Instagram (@itsmeghanmatthews)