Wait, how am I supposed to do this?!

This week I tried to get into the habit of doing examen.

For me, that meant simply setting aside the time to actually do a daily examen. Easier said than done (obviously, I mean who has time to add something to their schedule??). This inevitably brought me to my first realization about Examen...I don’t know how long it's supposed to take.

Which of course means that I had no idea how long to plan for. Here's a lightbulb moment for ya-- it’s one thing to know what to do, it’s an entirely different thing to actually do it. To remedy this, I decided to do what I always do when I want to learn about something… I bought a book.

Turns out that this Ignatius guy (... of Ignatian Examen fame) wrote a lot, and people found his work interesting enough to translate it to English (score!) It hasn’t come in just yet, but I’m looking forward to reading from the proverbial horse’s mouth.

As I await its arrival I’m trying to go through the basic steps of an examen each night:

Become more aware of God’s presence,

Review the day with gratitude,

Reflect on the day with honesty,

Choose a part of the day to bring before God,

Resolve to grow towards God tomorrow).

I know a bit about habit formation, and so I’ve tried to stack my examen with my evening routine. It’s nestled right after laying out my clothes for the next day and slipping into bed, which is perfect because it means that I’m already in my comfiest clothes, the lights are turned down, and everything is calm. For me, it’s a smooth transition into that first step of becoming more aware of God’s presence.

So far it’s been pleasant to sit quietly in my room at the end of the day and walk through it again. To see it with different eyes, with a lens of gratitude set firmly on them. I’ve noticed that it is actually easier to spot all the places where God intersected my day and because I’m going through the day first with gratitude, and secondly with honesty it’s easier to see the places where I could have done better since it’s a thoroughly softened view of my mistakes. Knowing that I’m bringing them before God and asking that he help me tomorrow, well. . . that feels easier too.

After all that thinking and being with God, I’ve been writing a little benediction for the day. I’m not sure that it’s an entirely Ignatian practice, but it’s been enjoyable to utter a blessing at the close of this experience.

I’m not sure I’m ready to offer up any of those personal benedictions, but maybe you’ll be able to reflect on your own day and proclaim a blessing at the end of it.

Here’s to still figuring things out!

P.s. how do you become more aware of God’s presence? I’ll take whatever tips you’ve got! Email me (meghanlamatthews@gmail.com) or let me know on Instagram (@itsmeghanmatthews)