Rule for Life
- Meghan Matthews
- Aug 7, 2020
- 4 min read
Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. (Romans 12:1, MSG)
Rethinking Rules
Many of us grew up thinking that rules were there to restrict us. To tell us all of the things that we couldn’t do.
As I’ve gotten older, and been put in the position to create and enforce rules, I’ve (started) to view rules in a different way. Instead of seeing them as restrictive, I’ve started to see them as freeing. Yes, rules, when seen through a slightly adjusted lens tell us more about what we can do than what we can’t.
Need an example?
There’s this show called Taskmaster, and the contestants on the show are given various tasks to do. They are then given points based on how well they do the task and on how creatively they interpret the task. For example, in the clip below, the contestants are asked to paint a picture. The easel and canvas they have to use is in the middle of a large red mat. They are not allowed to walk on the mat. Only the supplies provided can touch the mat.
That’s the task, paint a picture on a canvas that is 2 meters away from you.
The important thing isn’t the task itself. It’s how the contestants go about doing the thing. Honestly, it’s worth a watch to see what they come up with!
The point for this practice is this: when we adjust how we think about rules, they stop being burdensome and become the scaffolding that supports our desire to grow closer to God. They can outline realistic measures to take and disciplines that can be practiced, to grow in that direction.
The practice of Rule for Life, should be crafted with prayer and discernment, in partnership with God. Once written, your rule serves as a tool that can help you make decisions for your life and determine how best to order your days.
In other words, a Rule of Life will help you to do the most important things first and often.
In this way, a rule of life is different from goals, intentions, or resolutions since those methods are task-based and measurable, and they’re often focused on doing. A rule of life, on the other hand, helps you be and become.
Sounds good! So, how do I do it?
Your Rule of Life can be made up of one or several simple statements that guide the rhythm of your life. It/they should be lived faithfully (not perfectly) while fostering within you an integrated and embodied life of faith.
In order to be life-giving, a Rule must be realistic! It is not an ideal toward which you are striving. Instead, your initial Rule should be a minimum standard for your life that you do not want to drop below. It’s a realistic level of engaging in the spiritual disciplines for which you can honestly and truly be held accountable- Your rule should NOT BE ASPIRATIONAL.
The Rule which you write should include two things:
a self-assessment,
an explanation of how you will practice your chosen disciplines
A clear self-assessment will help you figure out what your current situation in life is. This will help you see where your relationship with God is, what kind of spiritual practices may help you grow closer to Him, and how much time you realistically have to dedicate to this.
(or do one in your own journal, it doesn’t have to be fancy)
(When I did this, it also helped me realize some areas where I needed to pull back and even say “no” to because it was moving me away from where I had discerned I wanted to be)
Once you’ve completed your assessment of your life try to sit with God and ask where and how he may want to increase in you. For example- if you have a hectic schedule, he may ask you to practice silence. You may be inclined to choose a spiritual practice that is suited to your personality (if you are an extrovert a group bible study might seem like a natural fit) and if you don’t have a lot of spiritual discipline in your life at the moment- then that’s great! But don’t feel like you have to choose something in your wheelhouse if you are looking towards the greatest growth, the ones you most need may be something you are uncomfortable with.
Like any good habit, it should fit into your life in a way that becomes seamless quickly (after maybe 2-3 weeks)
Examples of Rules of Life (taken from Adele Ahlberg Calhoun’s Spiritual Disciplines Handbook):
Dedicate every day (in the morning) for the glory of God
Confess my sins before I go to bed
Worship the Lord alone and with others
Practice (noticing) the presence of God
Don’t hold grudges- forgive others
Eat sensibly (to honor my body)
Pray for others
See my Spiritual Director once a month
Give all wandering thoughts to my Saviour
A Rule that the Early Church followed...
We all live life governed by a series of rules- both spoken and unspoken. Use this practice to intentionally live by and with a rule.
If a rule becomes a way for you to “win points” and/or “earn love and approval (from God or others)”, then you need to scrap that rule. Because you will have missed the point. Rule(s) of Life aren’t about striving, they are about trying to live and love in a way that brings you into alignment with God’s plans in the world.
Keep practicing,
What Rule of Life are you trying to include in your life? Let me know by email (meghanlamatthews@gmail.com) on Instagram (@itsmeghanmatthews) or in the comments below!
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