Self Care

I am one of those people who enjoys small talk. I love casual social interactions, and I can honestly say that the thing I have missed most in the time of COVID are the brief chats that I had with people at banks, the grocery store, the gym, around the office...

Of course, like most people, I also enjoy in-depth conversations with the people I know and love best. The thing I’ve liked most about COVID has been all the times I’ve been able to have great chats with my husband, housemates, close friends, and church community.

I guess you could say that communicating, and especially talking is one of my top favourite things to do.

Which is why this week has been, frankly, a hassle.

Let me backup...

About 8 years ago I was in an accident that impacted my face and I have had various issues come up since. The problems with my jaw have been escalating for a few years, as it has been getting stiffer and stiffer- I finally succumbed to the fact that I could no longer treat this by myself and made an appointment to go get it checked out.

The verdict- I need to see a oral surgeon to figure out a treatment plan, in the meantime it’s been recommended that I refrain from talking for the week (I also can’t chew- which is totally lame) in order to “rest the joint.”

So when I sat down to edit this post on self care, it really hit home for me. Self care isn’t (always) about doing superficial things that make you feel good momentarily, or serve as a distraction for a short while. Self care is (at least sometimes) about doing the things that suck, that are hard, but that actually get at the heart of a problem.

Self care is about valuing yourself as our Heavenly Father values you. Which can mean a lot of things.

What Self Care Is (and Is Not)

I have a sneaking suspicion that grace is a big part of self care. Especially for those of us enmeshed in a culture that glorifies busyness (which, let's be honest, it most of us).

This mentality has even grabbed hold in some churches and faith-based communities where martyrdom is held as the lofty goal. As if suffering were the standard by which we should measure our effectiveness as Christians, as if salvation is something to be earned through relentless labor.

But there is a flip side to this as well, in our current world there is also a tendency to value convenience and a propensity to spend beyond our means, taking the phrase “treat yo’ self” to an unhealthy level.

Or as Manulife stated in a recent

report: “Many Canadians are

spending more than they can afford,

fueled in part by the ‘fear of missing

out’ and ‘you only live once’ culture.”

God wants us to thrive, but we can’t do that if we swing too far in either direction-Selflessness and Selfishness are in opposition, and self care is what we find somewhere in the middle.

This is where grace comes in, because it is our habits of grace — our daily and weekly rhythms of seeking God, honouring him, being filled up and refreshed by our connection to the Creator are where we can find authentic self care. Often in church we talk about our spiritual health, but God didn’t create us to be just spiritual, he also gave us bodies and we need to take both of these things in hand if we are to truly care for, and value, ourselves in the way that God intended.

Considerations for Practicing Self Care as Christians

Self Care is a daily decision to nourish yourself:

There is no one-time thing that will take care of your self care needs. A one-off, chosen well, can help but true self care comes with creating good daily habits, and weekly rhythms.

Self care should help your physical self:

This part of self care isn’t always going to be fun, scheduling time for grocery shopping, taking vitamins or supplements, flossing, going to doctors, dentists, and therapists, getting started with exercise, and choosing a reasonable bedtime can feel like restrictive rules but each one is a task that makes a small investment in your overall well-being.

But self-care shouldn’t only be on the physical level, we are also souls:

As you know there are so many ways to spend time with God, so figure out the way (or ways) you best engage with God (prayer, study of Scripture, time in nature, musical worship, accountability and encouragement of other believers, etc.) and do that regularly- daily is best.

Self Care allows you to invest into others:

You’ve heard the saying “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” Self care gives you the ability to have a “full cup” from which you can help others. Self care helps us to see the abundance that God provides and encourages us to share that abundance with others.

Remember that when we neglect our basic needs for too long , we will inevitably burn out and no longer be able to serve others in the same capacity.

In Conclusion:

Self-Care can be simple, but it isn’t always easy. Sometimes it requires us to face our shame, exert self-control, and humble our-self before God in order to take steps in the right direction.

As you begin to shift your mentality towards seeing self-care habits as an opportunity to faithfully steward health and well-being for God’s glory, not as indulgent ways to escape your responsibilities you will begin to see self care as a way to honour this gift of journeying with God here on Earth.

Keep practicing,

p.s. what restorative habits do you incorporate into your rhythm of life? Let me know in the comments below, by email (meghanlamatthews@gmail.com) or on Instagram @itsmeghanmatthews