Actively Passive: Practicing Silence (pt. 3)

My alarm goes off. My eyes open to the light. I inhale and stretch my arms up over my head. My feet touch the floor and in a matter of 9 steps I have swooped my walking clothes and am out the door of my bedroom.

This is how each of my days start. There's a quick floss and brush, a brief wrestle with my sports bra and leggings, and then I'm on the sidewalk, moving my body through Gods creation.

I'm in a season of practicing silence while I walk. This makes sense for me, I want to be in a good rhythm of moving my body as well as being with God but (like so many of us, my schedule is quite full and doubling up makes sense (for right now, anyway). It was stressful at first to leave the headphones at home. To not do something while walking (i.e. listening to a podcast or making a phone call), but I have to

remind myself that being with God

is the most important thing that I can do.

There is something about repetition that prepares me for my practice before I actually start. Putting my clothes out the night before, is a ritual that reminds me that I'm going to get to spend time with God in just a few short hours. There is an anticipation that I am about to spend quality time with God that makes even mundane tasks have a buzz. Sometimes the anticipation feels like waking up on a holiday morning, excited, ready, knowing that something wonderful is about to happen. Other times, it feels like walking into an exam I haven’t prepared for, uneasy, anxious, and resistant.

The emotionality of silence has surprised me. Most of what I’ve read about silence has indicated that it is a centering practice, one that helps the mind to calm and focus. My mind seems to latch on to whatever I’m feeling most strongly that day. The emotion brought forward and is pulled apart like candy floss until I’m able to hand it over to Jesus, who I usually sense is standing nearby, waiting patiently for me to trust him with whatever it is that’s rolling around in my head.

Apparently, I’m just not a person who can get down to the serious business of being with God before she filters through the noise. For me, the noise doesn’t disappear just because it’s time to practice silence, or at least it hasn’t yet. I thought it would. I thought I’d be able to discipline my mind to focus on Jesus, on the presence of God, and the stirring of the Holy Spirit without dealing with all the thoughts and feelings I have first. After all, I thought, aren’t I supposed to “fix my eyes on Jesus” (Heb 12:2)?

Below you'll see a bit of what I do to practice silence. I hope that there is something there that helps you meet and be with God.

What to do:

Make it a habit:

See part 2 for tips on making silence a habit.

Centering Prayer:

A Centering prayer is a way of being with Jesus, focusing on His presence with you, rather than going through prayer requests. For me, it feels like sitting on a couch in silence with someone you are incredibly comfortable with. There is no tension, just an acknowledgement that being with each other is worthwhile.

You can pray using your feelings, or by acknowledging Jesus through simple words:

"Jesus, I am so glad you are with me right now. Help me be more and more aware of

your presence."

"I am yours."

"Remain with me."

Focus Scripture

Usually, once I’ve done this acknowledging of God's presence with me, I spend some time handing over my thoughts and feelings. I kind of let my big thoughts go to God (for me this is helpful to do, instead of trying to create a dam that won't work) it clears the space for me to hear Him.

Before too long (most days), a line of scripture will come to me. That's my cue to refocus on God, to attend to what he may want to say to me.

If a piece of scripture doesn't emerge, and I notice that my thoughts are starting to run back over themselves, I remember the scripture I started this whole thing with: “speak LORD, your servant is listening” (1 Sam 2:10).

(That's a good one to remember if you want to practice silence- it should be more

about God speaking than you than you speaking to God, save that for another

time)

Thanksgiving

I try to end each time of silence with a word of gratitude. Thanking God for being with me in the practice. I always think that it is amazing that the God of the Universe who holds all things in his hands makes time for me. That he keeps making time for me.

Thank you, Jesus.

I hope that these hints are helpful to your practice and that as you center your thoughts on God, focus on him through a scripture, and express thanks to him, that God meets you in the silence, that he speaks to you in his still, small voice.

For the last post of this series, I'll share one or two insights that have come to me through my practice. I don't hear from God every time I practice silence, but when I do... it's unreal.

Love ya,

P.S. How is your practice going? Let me know by email (meghanlamatthews@gmail.com) on Instagram (@itsmeghanmatthews) or in the comments below!