Humility

Be especially careful when you are trying to be good so that you don’t make a performance out of it.

Just do it—quietly and unobtrusively. That is the way your God, who conceived you in love, working behind the scenes, helps you out.

(Matt 6:1,4, MSG)

Humility is a practice and a principle of Christianity. It’s also a characteristic that is widely lacking in our 21st century North American culture. We live in a place and a time that emphasizes individual accomplishment, and there is so much happening every moment of everyday that it seems like we have to scream about our accomplishments just to get noticed.

I recently heard on a podcast (The Happiness Lab, with Dr. Laurie Santos) that there are two different kinds of skills and characteristics. Resume skills: those things that we think are really important for getting ahead (things like, grit, doggedness, unrelenting determination), and Eulogy skills: the things that we say, and want people to say about us, upon death (things like gratitude, compassion and-you guessed it- humility).

While the world tells us that the former are better to get ahead, be more successful,

(whatever), there is evidence that those things only work in the short term. In the long term, people who cultivate those Eulogy characteristics are more connected, calm, and happy.

Jesus is the ultimate in humility, the Son of God who left heaven to come be with us. To live among us. To be with us. To show us that there is a better way to be in the world, a better way to interact with one another, a better way to be human. His lead-by-example lessons still resonate today- thousands of years later. Even though we may feel pulled by the world to think of ourselves first, we have not only the opportunity, but the capacity, to practice humility.

True humility doesn’t mean that you talk down your abilities or achievements, humility is about seeing yourself and your place in the world as you/it actually exist. Practicing humility looks like making the needs of others as real to you as your own needs are.

When regularly practiced humility shifts our focus from ourselves onto others freeing us from the ways of the world that demand that we put our value in what we produce or offer, and that we establish our identity in secondary things that

are outside of ourselves- things that we can lose.

Instead, through true humility, we can establish our identity in Christ, who was, is, and is to come. Our identity as a child of God can never be taken away from us.

Questions to consider:

When was the last time you did something for someone else and did not expect or receive any kind of acknowledgement for it?

What things are a source of pride to you? What about those things make you proud?

How often do you think of yourself first, when making a decision? Have you ever made a decision thinking about someone else’s needs first?

If you knew that only God would see your actions, what choices would you make differently and/or the same on a day-to-day basis?

Practices:

1. Look for ways that you can help: Pray for God to reveal a need that someone in your life (or even a stranger!) may have. Listen to those around you, to see if there is something that you may be able to do to help them.

Once you’ve figured out a way to help, do that thing- and do it anonymously.

What does it feel like to know that you’ve helped someone, and the only one who knows… is God.

2. Assess your own image-management: spend a week intentionally noticing how you speak about yourself to others:

• Do you spin the truth? (for example: “I never eat junk food, but I’ll try this treat this time.” why is it important for you to be seen as someone who eats healthily?)

• How do you respond to praise or blame?

• If you are introduced to someone, what details do you include about yourself?

Once you've finished your assessment, pray. Ask God to help you root your identity more firmly in Him, to speak more simply about who you are, and to see yourself with truth as you grow into the person He has created you to be.

Give these a go, and let me know what you think about humility as a spiritual practice.

Keep practicing,

Any thoughts about spiritual practices? Let me know by email (meghanlamatthews@gmail.com) or on Instagram (@itsmeghanmatthews)